Trusting in God

Today I have found myself unable to read. My schedule has changed and I am now working early and then doing my quiet times after having been up for several hours. Though I know this could be OK, this morning I also have much on my mind, including a recent decision to shop for a car. I am nervous as the financing is in the works as I write this, and I have never made a purchase this costly before. My mind is too full to read and actually observe what I'm reading. (I know we've all had days like this, no matter what time we sit down to read, or what we read.)

Thankfully, my heart has also been full, and I am able to carry this back to Jesus and ask Him to fight for me. A fellow minister I know is known to often ask "Is the value worth the cost?" As I think through this, I also question why I want a car, why I think I need one. My answer right away is that I need it in order to reduce stress in my life and those around me. I don't know how reliable I can be without having dependable transportation, and sometimes I cannot find a ride that is available. (If you are reading this and have given me rides in the past, thank you very much. I appreciate every time you've gone out of your way to help me. You are a blessing.)

When I think of my response to this question why, I also think of the fact that this will open up a new door of where I think I can provide for myself. This is what has given me the answer to the minister's question. I must weigh in the balance if buying a car, or having one of my own by any means, will teach me to be self-sufficient, or if it will allow me to praise my God further. If I have a car, I will be able to work more in another job as well, and therefore I will be able to provide financially more for myself. I will also be building a good credit rating, and therefore providing for myself in the future to be able to afford a home (unless God blesses me with another means for housing as He has been so faithful to do so far, and if you know me very well, you know what I'm thinking here...).

All of this set me to tears this morning as I was praying. My heart cries out that God would fight for me as there are some issues with the financing end of things, and that God would allow me to have this car and know that it is Him who has provided for it. I know the business manager, car salesman, and banks are all working together to make this a possibility for me, but I would like to know it was God who worked it all out. I would love if I walked in this afternoon and was told that the gas certificate that was going to be applied towards my down payment was not needed to do so, and that all they did was to decrease the cost of the vehicle and the banks agreed to the terms, or whatever. God knows how He's going to work it out if this is the car He has for me.

May the Lord wake me each morning with a heart filled with praise that I can trust Him to provide for all my needs, and may I continue to trust Him in all things. I know the value is worth the cost, and that it will further teach me to be a good steward of the resources God has given to me. May I continue to fully know this daily, and trust Him to use each opportunity to move me closer to His image.