To Know and Be Known

The longings of my heart express in a multitude of ways. This deep desire to be a wife has many components, some of which I experience in part in friendship. Often, though, these experiences leave me longing for more. I adore my friends, and I praise God for the friendships He has placed in my life. These relationships have been formed over years, or sometimes months, through conversation, trials, and celebration together. They remind us all that we are alive, and that someone cares. The people in our lives can be God's hands and feet if we let them and if they choose to be that.

One necessary component to all friendships is that of knowing the other person and being known by them. This takes vulnerability for both parties, and an understanding reception of that vulnerability. Vulnerability is not comfortable, especially when it's been rejected in the past. Understanding is sometimes difficult because we are all different, and sometimes we just don't get it. We can feel guarded when met with another person's vulnerability, and we live in a society that teaches us to disregard or avoid the emotional messes of others.

Those of you who know me well know that I cry at many things. From children reciting Scripture to the caring words of a friend when I'm trying too hard to be strong. I am so grateful for the friends in my life who accept me and all my emotions, and who speak truth into those wounded places. There is an understanding there, and it gives me the comfort to know that I am not only known as someone who cries, but that I am loved and accepted, sometimes even for that very quality. One friend said to me a couple months ago "Those who know you well know that, and we know how to handle it." While I'm not sure exactly what he meant by 'handle it,' it did speak to me that my close friends, the ones with whom I've chosen to be vulnerable, know what is necessary in my crying times. They know what my tears mean, and they know how to respond.

Just last night I had another conversation affirming my tears, affirming that my emotions are a natural outflow of who I am. This goes along with other recent conversations I've had in prayer. God has continued to remind me that I cannot be anyone other than myself. Even in my professional life, there will be times when my emotions will come out. I cannot hide the emotions that God has given me. In fact, God has blessed me with very open emotions that have been expressed on behalf of others, and this is a good thing.

So what does this all have to do with the longing to be a wife? My emotions are part of who I am, but not the entirety of who I am. God has given me physical attributes, intelligence and wisdom, a quirky personality, food preferences, and so much more. My relationship with Him defines more of who I am than many of these, but it is not in a vacuum. God has made me as a whole person. One of the things that blesses me most about some of my friendships is that of being known. When I get a taste of this, my heart longs for more. The tastes I get come in the form of someone saying that they know my heart, and encouraging me that God knows it even better. They come as I receive gifts that are things I'd never ask for, but that the giver knows will bless me. I glimpse it when someone takes the time to hear me, and to respond.

All of these experiences awaken within me a strong desire to know and be known, not just as a friend, though that is such a blessing as well. No, I long to be known so well that the person (my husband) can read me and know how to respond, even when I don't say a word. I've had friends who can do this from time to time, and for that I am thankful. Even so, it only makes the desire stronger because I know that it can be, and therefore it is not meaningless to hope. I had a friend once tell me that I will never find that in a man, and my response was that I've had male friends who were able to do so. I know God can do this.

This desire to be known has been awakened before, and taken before God. What He showed me through the Bible was astounding! He showed me that He also longs to be known. In Jeremiah we are told to search Him out with all of who we are. Jesus talks about those who will proclaim His name and be rejected with the words "Depart from me, I never knew you." We are told in Corinthians that one day we will see the fulfillment of the little bit that we know now. We will know as we are known!

Being created in the image of God, it is natural that we would have the same desire to be known. God created us with desires and emotions. In this longing of mine, I must remember to delight in God. He has promised to give me what I desire when I delight in Him, and I trust that in drawing close to God He will either change my desires, or fulfill them in the best way, His way!

Blessings on your life today. I hope that you find friendships in which you are known, and that you can bless someone else today by letting them experience the same!