Christmas Wish List

While baking today, was reminded via phone that many people love me. One of the questions I got more than once today was about what I want for Christmas. This is interesting because as I was pulling up to my friends' house, I was hearing the top ten Christmas wish list from 1913.

Here are my thoughts: First of all, while I am so blessed by people asking after my wants for Christmas (or last month for my birthday), I am humbled to tears because I don't have anything to give in return. I know these are gifts, but this time of year there is often an expectation that gifts are exchanged, not just given.

Secondly, while I have 'things' on lists, what I want more than anything else is to have my debts paid off. Because I am spending so much each month trying to undo past poor choices (while these have resulted from poor financial training early on, I am fully responsible for them now, and I alone dug this hole for myself), I am unable to keep up on all my bills with my current job. Granted, it would still be tight with these debts paid off, but way less tight.

So, if I cry when you ask what I want for Christmas, the reason is that I'm either thinking about how I can't afford to do something nice for you, or about how my greatest wish is to have my debts paid off and I feel lame telling you that this is my only real want for Christmas.

Sure, I want nice things, but more things will not take away the stress of looming bills and the need for a better paying job than I have. This is something I am regularly taking before God's throne, and something that I must humbly submit before Him. I don't have the means to take care of this myself.

God, Your grace is enough!