Delays, and God's Grace

OK, so this week has been one that has caused a bit of anxiety for, but only when I think of the less-than-desirable parts of the week. I was supposed to be 3-5hrs into my drive to Indiana by now, but Stella, my trusty, reliable car, has had a few problems. First was the simple oil change and check over to make sure she was ready for the road, including a look at the brakes as they were vibrating. This was Monday.

Tuesday she had her front brakes replaced, as the back ones were new already having been replaced recently. When she was up in the air, she spring a leak, and it was traced to a gasket in the radiator. I was advised not to take her on the road, but had the option to decide for myself.

I drove up to Wellington and back, and as I was pulling into my parking lot, the check coolant light came on. That was less than 30miles! Now she's in the shop again, and I won't be on the road until that's fixed.

So, what have I been praising God for in the midst of it all? First of all that this leak occurred before I left, not when I was already 2-3hrs from home! I liken this to having a baby who poops in his or her diaper just before leaving the house. It's a delay, and bothersome for the parent to have to drop everything to turn around and unpack the diaper bag again. This, however, is much better than having left on a four-hour trip, to have the child poop just minutes after leaving home! I am thankful that my eleven-year-old car has her problems when and where they can be taken care of!

Then, as yesterday and today I've walked home from the shop, my walks have been filled with beauty. There is a tree that has beautiful blossoms on it, and I've been able to gather a few from the ground and bring them home to enjoy. Then there's the issue of the pelican that visits Spring Creek. Yesterday it was not out when I passed, and I as a bit saddened by that fact. Today, however, it was out and fishing quite elegantly. Had I left this morning before dawn, I would have missed this gift. I am thankful that God did not allow me to leave when I wanted to, and that He cares enough to watch over me. Who knows what else I avoided because of my delay.

Now, to finish packing, shower, and await a call from the shop to tell me Stella is ready to go. They know I'm heading out on a long trip, and they're taking good care of me as well. I'm thankful that God is looking after me each step of the way, and of course, that Mario is still in the wrong castle. Someday...

Sunday Thoughts

So this morning was an interesting place to be. I'm sure we all have moments when we feel as if we're re-reading an idea we already have grasped, or that the author of whatever we're reading has given a challenge we've already accomplished. This morning was filled with those.

First of all was the challenge to read several passages, all having something referring to a mountain and to a challenge of sacrificing ourselves to God. These are to be looked at in light of the challenge in Romans 12:1 to offer ourselves up as a living sacrifice. For those of you who know me well, this past year has been one of learning to surrender more and more each day, with each decision and trial. Got it covered, my thoughts would say as I entered into this challenge. But, since I committed to doing each challenge laid before me, I followed through. What I learned from each passage was not necessarily about submission, but about the faith of the person in the passage, and the lessons we don't learn from each one as we teach on the other lessons that we think are more important.

Abraham is asked to offer Isaac up as a sacrifice. (Genesis 22:1-14) Often we look to this passage to point to his life as not fully submitted to God, and therefore the need to offer that which he held most dear on the altar so that God could be proven to be his highest blessing. Though this is an important lesson we must learn, we miss the first part of the passage. God called to Abraham, and he answered "Behold, here I am." He was attentive to the voice of God! He was in relationship with Him so much that God only had to say his name, and he knew that he should answer. Then, when given instruction, he immediately obeyed, and walked forward with what he had to do. This is not about what we do, but being in relationship with God.

Which brings me to a thought that's been discussed in all of my mentoring relationships this week. The idea of righteousness, sin, and salvation is not about us at all. It's not about what we do, but it's completely about who God is, and the relationship He wants to have with us. To some of you, this is a "no duh" statement, but even though I have known this in my head, and experienced its truth, it still requires reminders along the journey. All of us need to be reminded of this as we walk our paths with Christ. It's not about what I do that is my salvation, it's about the relationship with Christ. This will no doubt lead to actions that are in line with His will, but everything is for the purpose of knowing God!

Abraham knew God. The story isn't about him walking in sin and needing to be reprimanded, it's about him listening to God's voice, following in obedience, and then being told by the angel that it was a test of who or what was most important to him. God already knew Abraham would submit, but I think maybe Abraham himself needed reminding that he was a man of faith, one who listened closely to the voice of God, and one who was ready to take action immediately whenever God spoke. I know I regularly need God to remind me of the new creation He has made of me, and that I am His!

The next passage was that of Mary being told that she would bear the Son of God (Luke 1:26-38). Mary was a woman who was often reflective about what was happening in her life. There are many times we read of her pondering something in her heart as she observed God at work in her life as well as that of Jesus, her son. The question that came to me here is one a little scary to me, because it questions traditional teachings about the birth of Christ and His sinless nature. I do not question that Christ was born of a virgin, nor do I question that He is completely without sin. What I do question is the notion that He is sinless because He was born of a virgin. I need to read a bit more of the Scriptures in the study of this, but for now what I've gleaned from this passage are two things:

A) Jesus is born and lives completely without sin because God is the Father. He is born of God, and therefore He is without sin.

B) The purpose of God choosing a virgin is so that there is no question about who the Father is. Those who knew Mary well, and knew her character, would know that she had not been with a man. They would trust her, no matter how much they didn't believe the story. Her character was stronger than the incredible story she told, and therefore she was to be trusted that it was as she said it was. If she were already married to Joseph, no one would have believed that she had conceived from the Holy Spirit because there would be a perfectly rational explanation for her pregnancy.

The final passage of this challenge was when Jesus took His disciples to the garden to pray just before He was crucified. Now up until this passage, something that occured to me is that with Abraham, as well as Mary, there is not angst. Sure, Mary knew how this would look to the world watching, and the implications and possibility of stoning. However, neither of these walked in fear or angst or worry as they walked forward. There may have been hidden feelings of these, but the text never points them out. Both obeyed, Abraham immediately taking action as it was commanded, and Mary submitting and considering herself the handmaiden of the Lord. (Note here: this is one of my life verses, Luke 1:38.) Neither of them put up a fight with God over the instructions He'd given them, and neither tried to think of another way that God might accomplish what He wanted. Simple obedience, full of faith.

Now we have Jesus...He is distressed! Whoa?! That's a 'negative' emotion, isn't it? Not very God-like, hmm? He pleads with the Father to let this cup pass, but then says "Your will be done." He knows what's going to happen to Him, and He's highly emotional about it. Here what I learn once again is that we are unwilling to attribute to God emotions we think are negative. We don't recognize that He created all emotions, and they can all serve a purpose. Here, we can relate to Jesus' suffering b/c we've all been in places where we don't want to go through the upcoming pain, even though we know it will accomplish something better than we have now.

The next phase of my learning this morning took place in church (Really?). Bert, our pastor, spoke on suffering this morning, and there's a lot here, so I'd like to point you to the church website (www.fccov.org) to listen to the sermon from there. He challenged us to enter into the suffering and engage it. As I look at Jesus' suffering, what it accomplished was to open a path to bring us back to a relationship with God. In the Garden of Eden, when Adam and Eve ate the fruit of the tree of good and evil, they were separated from the relationship they had with God. They were now walking in darkness, that place of lost direction. Jesus came so that we might walk with Him again, and that's what it's all about.

I may post more later about this morning, but for now, here's quite a bit to chew on already. Hope you are lifted up in the Lord today!

~MJ~

Creativity as an expression of our God

Good afternoon. Right now I'm reading a book called Aprenticeship with Jesus by Gary W. Moon. I'm sorry I don't know how to link it here, but I know you can run a simple google search and find it. Anyway, it is a journey in learning to live like Jesus, and experience the truth of who God is. Each day you have a story to read, a reflection to consider about the character of God and about who we are as His children, and then an activity to make it real.

Today's activity is to create a list of things I do that foster creativity. God is a creative God, and as we are created in the image of God, we express His character in our creativity. So, here's a list of things I do creatively:

Sewing
Writing stories, devitional materials (have you read the blog?), etc.
Singing (though not in the shower)
Paper crafts (scrapbooking, cards(!!!), notes)
Cooking
Playing with words
Writing music (need some help with this one)

Then I am asked to narrow it down to what is most life-giving. I assume by this question that I am to look at what is most life-giving to me as the it is about things specific to me, but this seems a bit self-centered. Thinking this through though reminds me that in doing what brings life to my own soul I not only experience God's breathing into me, but I can experience breathing Him out to others as well.

As I look at the list above, I think that each one has life-giving qualities for me. I do know that through each of these I have experienced life, and at times I've gotten burnt out through each of them as well. I have a feeling that to choose one to spend the rest of my life doing would be to narrow the hand of God in all areas of my life. For right now I shall choose one that will be a focus, with which (as assigned in the book) I can spend God-time each week. I think that this season in my life would best foster the area of writing. As there are many ways in which this can be expressed, I think this will be a great experiment. I have a few stories I've started and never finished, and of course here's my blog.

I don't know if anyone reads this anymore, as I think I lost my original readers for lack of posting regularly, but I guess I'll write anyway. It's hard sometimes to write without encouragement to do so, but someone today asked if it was time to post on my blog again. I don't know if he read my post from yesterday or not, but this was certainly encouragement to write today.

I do have a prayer request for anyone who might read this and think to pray for me and for my family. I learned this morning that my uncle who lives in OR may not make it through the day. He's been living with ALS for quite some time, and things have gone downhill quickly as of late. Please pray for safe travels for my family from Indiana as they have all flown to Oregon, and for their comfort as well. I will be making a trip to IN in a week and a half, so I'll hopefully get to see some of them on their return. Please pray for me as well that I may be comfort to them, and that I may love them as Christ does.

Love to you all,
~MJ~

Back to it?

OK, so since I've added this to my facebook account, I guess that should create some impetus for posting more regularly than I have in a long time. So a little update is in store, I guess.

First of all, I am sitting in a stunning setting, smack dab in the middle of Fort Collins, CO. I remember having visited a friend's house in Rochester years back and being amazed at the beautiful setting that was less than a mile from the mall and other high traffic things in Rochester. I remember telling a friend then that someday I'd love to live in the woods, but still be close to town. Well, now I do. My roommate and I moved into this apartment in the end of November, and it's been beautiful all along. There are evergreens, so in the winter it's not glum, and now that the birds are out, I love having a feeder out and starting a container garden. This is taking off better than my garden from last year as our weather was not conducive to a productive garden with all the hail and cold temps. The corn and beans are taking off!!!

So, the original intent with this blog was to keep you abreast of what God is doing in my life. Well, as of right now I'm learning how to walk beside Him, and seek Him for each provision. My job with the school district got cut, like so many, and that's been a hard spot as I loved what I was blessed to do for three wonderful years. It's also hard because it is a grieving process, and one wherein I need God's grace to be at work in each step to direct me to what's next, and to rejoice in those three beautiful years of my life. Knowing this two months before the end of the school year made those months interesting as I strove to be the best I could be and finish strong for my students.

Now I am wondering what God has in store for me next. I will continue to live today as He gives it today, but there are many obvious pointers God has placed in my life that give a bit of focus. The main thing here is that I am a teacher. I always have been, and this has been brought to the forefront by so many with whom I've worked. Fellow staff have made it clear that I am made for this, and I should hold nothing back in going for further schooling so I can get my certificate. I have come up to many closed doors, and though God has made it clear that this is where I'm supposed to be, what I'm supposed to do, He's going to have to do it. Here I will list the obstacles I'm trusting God to remove, or to show me how to overcome:

1. No school in the area will accept my previous schooling for either credit transfer, or as a Bachelor's degree to start a Masters program. This would mean I have to start from the beginning all over again,
2. I have received full Pell Grants for my first BA b/c it is accredited through the ABHE, and therefore recognized by the US Dept of Ed. Because of this, I have to fill out the FAFSA with the little box checked saying I already have a degree, and therefore will likely not get as much aid this time around,
3. I am not employed right now save for some odd jobs for which I am grateful. With this in mind, I cannot afford to go back to school without financial aid, and seeing as the above two are in place, it does not look like there's a way to go back to school for me.

With those in mind, I also list why I should be going back to school, and how I know I am a teacher:

1. Fellow staff members have recognized this. I won't go into detail here, but I have been told in no uncertain terms that I can't not do this. This is where I belong!
2. Students with whom I've worked have said I should be a teacher. This has come in many forms, but suffice it to say, they know best. They're the ones learning as I help them.
3. I feel most like me, most like I'm living the dance with God, when I'm teaching and watching students learn what is being taught. I see this all around me, and I love being part of it.
4. I've wanted to teach secondary math since I was in high school myself, but only now have learned how to dream, and to expect that it will come about in some way.
5. God is bigger than all the closed doors, and right now I declare before anyone who chooses to read my posts, He will do this!!!

Well, I think that's enough for now. I need to rest for the evening, and I need to think/pray about what God is teaching me right now, and what to post next. We'll see in the days to come what more He will reveal.

~MJ~