Urgency or Contentedness

Lately I have been contemplating God's timing with things and realizing that many times we spend too much of our lives in a hurry to get something done, and well, not enough time seeing the beauty we miss at our break-neck speeds. I recall a few years ago talking with a friend about my preference of riding on a train versus flying to get somewhere. I have to say that lately, due to the inconvenience of the timing when my train gets into where my family lives, I have flown more often than anything else. This week I embark on the first long roadtrip I've taken since college. My brother's wedding...another story for another day...

So, with that in mind I write this post. I have recently figured out that I enjoy working in education, as I have for the past year. With this new found pleasure, I have returned to a desire I had when I was in high school, that of one day becoming a high school math teacher. I know, I can hear most of you gagging right now because most of my friends absolutely loathe math. Frankly it's a four-letter word to them, which, by the way, proves that you need math and are far better at it than you give yourself credit: you can count to four!

OK, enough with the math jokes...The first thing that has been going through my mind with this career option is that it will take loads more schooling than I currently have the time and money to pursue right now, and that is a major obstacle to me. However, nothing is impossible with God. He knows what to do, and He has the power to do it. This does not mean that I will be going to school once again in a month. What it does mean is that God has changed my heart to match His own in learning that there's no hurry to getting there. I am young, and even if today were my last (I have to believe God has much more planned than what I can do today...) God will have accomplished in my what was His will. With this I have been learning that there are many things I want to be and do with my life--wife, mother, math teacher, and so on--that don't have to be done tomorrow, or quite frankly even this year, or decade. God has a plan, and His timing is perfect.

So now I sit and wait for my next job interview, prepare to drvie a long way this week and home next, and rest in knowing that God's timing is perfect, and my own needs to slow down some so I can enjoy the beauty all around me. May I challenge you today to think about your own drive to get things done, often disguised in a mask that says this way you can enjoy it all later, and recognize that you're missing out now? Examine just how much stress you want to put yourself through now in order to enjoy a relaxing furture that may or may not ever happen, for who knows his own days? God holds all your days in the palm of His hands!

Vivid Imaginations

Have you ever wondered why women make such a big deal out of such small things? Well, being a woman, I sometimes wonder myself. I know good and well that some of the things I make such a big deal about are simply not that big, but for some reason my mind still blows them out of porportion. Last night I had a wonderful conversation with a good friend who shared some details of the past week with me. This morning as I thought about some of them, I had to laugh at myself. How many times have I thought the exact same thing about the exact same "signals" and not thought about the possibility that they are not signals at all? Oh, boy!

So, I have decided that the problem lies in the fact that women have grand imaginations, and though when we come to our senses and think about them being imaginations, we can act quite rationally. However, we like our imaginations much better than life as it is at times, and we'd rather live in those imaginations while they're still fun. I know I do. If there are any women out there who would agree with me on this, I'd love to hear from you.

Oh, and let's let the guys know...you may not mean anything by what you do, but we read into it a lot. I have fun reading into things, especially when there's a good friend on the other end of the conversation who can bring me back to reality every now and then. I have one friend who's particularly good at this, and I appreciate him grately. You know who you are, if you're reading this.

OK, so this has mostly been a fun post, and mostly brought out of a laughter filled conversation that will brighten my week all around. I hope it's brightened yours as well. And for my guy dilemma...well, let's just say I'm still having fun!

Single...FOR REAL!!! additional information

For those of you who have read the previous post, I forgot to say a few things. First off, I am not saying that interest in someone is a wrong thing, just that we need to make sure our frame of reference is on enjoying where God has put us for this season. I cannot say that I no longer like this fellow, but I am taking a proactive stance to enjoy being single right now because that is the gift God has given me.

Second, this takes action steps. Since he's been back I've made a decision that I will no longer initiate contact, whether by email, in person, or on the phone. This means that I am going to be a lady in waiting, not in the sense of waiting by said phone or computer, but waiting for God's leading and not stepping forward to "make the move." It's not easy, but when we find ourselves wanting to do something we have already committed to not do, what makes it easier is to find something else more fulfilling to do that brings honor to God. I have been encouraged to find strong sisters in Christ to build relationships with, and that helps in times when I need to hang out with someone, anyone...you know what I mean.

OK, so those are my thoughts for today. Hope your day is blessed.

Single...FOR REAL!!!

OK, so that title is interesting in itself. There are many ways it could be read, but take note it does not say "at last," "again," or "finally." By this I mean this is a post about experiencing singleness for real, not simply a state of being in which I, the writer, live as if I'm in some other state.

Jarbled mumbo-jumbo? Yes, mostly because I'm a little hesitant at being this vulnerable, especially since it will likely be read by those who know me well, and I'm not sure how it will be taken. I am being vulnerable, and with that I open myself to potential risk.

That being said, I submit to you this post.

Recently I have taken a liking to a young man. He's rather charming and I enjoy our talks. I have to say though that it has been rather rough in that there are times I find myself waiting around and not motivated to do something I want to do simply because I wonder if he's going to call or email about getting together. Simply put, I've missed out on living life as a single because I'm living like I'm in a relationship where I must consider another's desires/ideas when making plans or doing something completely spontaneous.

That being said, I must also say that recently this young man was away for a while, and it gave me time to reconsider my singleness. I will first say that when he was leaving my thoughts were that I would have some time without waiting around, but I never imagined what would actually happen. Shortly after he left I was made aware of a prayer concern, and it brought him back to my mind. This was not how I imagined the time alone. After a few days of asking God to take care of him, he slipped my mind. I did not notice this until nearing the end of his travels.

I spent time the following week doing things I wanted to do without wondering if I would miss a phone call, or if I should invite him: he was out of town. I picked berries (though a response to something else disheartening), played frisbee golf, and even went canoeing with other singles without even calling to see if he would like something to do. OK, so I know some of you are reading this and saying "C'mon, were you really that lame?" Yes, I was.

So, on the evening after having gone canoeing and having a grill out when we returned, I was sitting on the deck of the house I was watching, and I realized "Hey, this is what it feels like to really be single!" I was enjoying a quiet evening by myself after a long hard day of fun, and I wasn't concerned about who else might have missed out on the experience. That's when it hit me. When he's around, I'm tense and not really myself and therefore not living like I'm the single God has made me to be in this season of life. The week or so leading up to this was amazing because I had no one to impress and I was at ease with myself, able to enjoy God without any distractions! This must be what Paul meant when he urged the Corinthians to remain single. Huh...

On the River of Life with Christ

This past weekend I went with some friends canoeing. I have to say, I did not start out the day thinking of how to use the experience as a reflection of how we live our lives as Christians (though everything is such a reflection), but God quickly came to my feeble mind's aid and showed me how much we need one another.

The group on seven of us started our journey with one kayak and three canoes. The river was too low for a third person in one canoe, so we found one person who had experience with kayaking and he agreed to do the same this time around. As we went down the river, a few things struck me.

We are interdependent on one another for control and speed of the canoe, and communication is vital to this process. Now, for those of you who know me well, you know I've been in a canoe many times, and the last statement should be sort of "duh" to me. Well, duh, but it's implications for our life in Christ just donned on my this weekend. Now add to the need for communication and team work the necessity of knowing what you're doing. This means wisdom and understanding. One example is being able to read the river, knowing where the rocks are based on how the water flows, and knowing when to let the river control or when to paddle hard against it. The other thing about teamwork in a canoe is that you can share stories and experiences while you're in the slow parts, there's fellowship.

OK, so some of you may know where I'm going with this, but I have to share it anyway, as this is the point of this post. First, we are interdependent on the entire Body of Christ. Ephesians 1 says the church is His Body. In Corinthians we are reminded that the body has to work together, and if one part is not functioning properly, we are all without that necessary component. Same goes for the canoe. If I steer and there's no one to power paddle, I could make sure we're in the right direction, but we'd get no where. Conversely, if my teammate paddles her heart out, but I do not steer, we're likely to end up in a tree or logded on the side of the river.

Steering is an intersting thing as well. We need communication in order to know how to direct the canoe. In life, we need to communicate with one another in order to know how to function properly, and in order to know how to minister to one another and to the world around us. If a close friend has the gift of generousity (all who know me know I lack this gift), and doesn't know about the need that she could minister to, but I do, my communication of that need is vital to God's using this friend to minister to that need. This also takes wisdom and understanding.

There are times in our lives when we come across a supposed need and want to pour ourselves out in response. Sometimes this is appropriate, and we are correct in doing so, but there are other times when it is unhelpful to do so. Think again of the canoe. There are times when it's right to put all you energy into paddling as hard and fast as you can to make the canoe go against the direction of the river's flow. There are other times it's best to let the river carry you, either when it's a strong current and fighting would simply spin you around or flip you over, or other times when it's restful and you have time to take in all the beauty that God has placed around you.

In life, we need to communicate with one another, and with God who controls our circumstances, to know when it's appropriate to put our whole self into it, when it's meaningless to put for effort that would be better preserved for later, or when God simply says it's time to rest. In those times when we sit back and rejuvenate our souls, we have a wonderful opportunity to have fellowship with others and share what God is doing in our lives.

Before I close, I have to give a shout out to one of those canoers who will be surprised to find out that I actually wrote out an outline before typing this out (you know who you are).

So really, we need to make sure we take every opportunity to communicate with God and one another, to search out wisdom and understanding, and take in the restful times as well. God created us for fellowship with one another, and in taking this times, we learn more and more of what we need to function as the Body of Christ, His church. God send you forth today.