Connections to Hitch

I have so many connections to the movie Hitch. The biggest one is a couple conversations I've had with guys in my life. When I was in college, I was often confused by the attentions I received from some of my guy friends. One close guy friend advised me that I didn't need to worry about making a decision based on clues, but reminded me that guys are more straight-forward. Just wait for a guy to tell me he likes me before fretting about how I would respond to him. To date, the only guys I've had say this to me were ones I really didn't know.

In the movie Hitch, there is a conversation about this very thing: that the relationship scene is such that it's terrifying/intimidating to make that statement. Men don't think women will respond if they come right out and say that they like them. I can recall a conversation with someone who stated this very thing in his own experience.

Last fall, for my NaNo novel, I had to write one of these conversations. It was tough because she was caught off guard by his declaration of interest, not because she was unsure how she felt for him, but because she was surprised at the suddenness of it.

I'll admit I'm a little bit angry that we, as women, play this game that makes it hard for men to tell us how they feel. I'm also at a loss as to how to navigate as a woman who really wants to be pursued, to have a man tell me that he likes me. And then there is my response whenever someone tells me I should cut the guy some slack and start the conversation: "If he's right for me, he's going to have to pursue me."

Now I don't say this as some indictment of someone's character just because they are hesitant to bring up the subject of romantic interest. I trust that when a man has an interest in me, he will seek the Lord for the courage to approach me. This film is one of my favorites, probably because it highlights just how difficult the relationship scene is nowadays.

Interestingly enough, I've recently had a few 'consultant' conversations on my own. While my consultant is not giving me advice on how to pursue, he encourages me by giving me perspective on how I might open the doors for such conversations. And he's not paid, but an older brother in Christ, with whom I adore sharing my stories. I am so thankful that God has surrounded me with good, strong fellowship, and good examples of healthy relationships.

Worth Pursuing

This weekend I had a conversation with a good friend at church who posed a question to me that I had trouble answering, not because there isn't an answer to the question, but because I have a hard time believing the truth of the answer. We were talking about relationships, and he framed it from the guy's perspective in looking for ways that we each fulfill each others' needs. Though not directly in these words, the question was, essentially, what do I have to offer.

The more I think about this question, the more that I come up with my own frailty in considering that I have anything at all to offer. Lately an old wound has come up, and the devastation of said wound has marred my image of who I am. I have trouble voicing the things I have to offer because I don't believe they are worth anything I have to constantly learn to listen to the truth that friends offer up that I am of value, that I have lots to offer. One friend says this to me on an almost daily basis, and I know that I need her to continue to speak this truth, and to remind me that God has a plan.

Slowly, I am believing this truth more, but again the lies come in. The lies: I have very little to offer; I'm so broken that those things I do have to offer are overshadowed by my neediness; if I start to believe I am worthwhile, I will become arrogant and no one likes arrogance. THESE ARE LIES!!!

Today, i choose to take a stand against the lies. I chose to believe, today, that God has created me with purpose, value, and that makes me worth pursuing! I know that the battle is not over, and therefore I choose, this day, that I am going to do my best to walk in the truth.